Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
And then he peed in my hair
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