why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
