Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
