Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
