How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize