pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
