He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
