I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
