Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
