Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize