'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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