i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
