C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
