I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
