Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize