Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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