We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
