I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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