Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
