Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
