well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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