Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
