What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
