West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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