i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize