The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
