Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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