kristin has been a bad kristin
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
