You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Alive.
So much puke
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
