Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
