I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize