his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
