Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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