got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
