Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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