Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i now understand why vodka
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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