well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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