Jerry, you need to find god
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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