And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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