U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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