yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
