he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
