I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
how does that bad decision feel?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
