he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
