I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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