Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
