I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
