Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
