fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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