this beer tastes like vomit already
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
