and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
