sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
