yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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