i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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