I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
