I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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