Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
