I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize