Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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