Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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