So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
