So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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