Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
