I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
