I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize