Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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