pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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