i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
