Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize