Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
there is glitter all over my balls
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
