Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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