He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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