you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
