Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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