I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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