I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The feeling are messing with the penis
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize