I'm eating all of the evidence.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Semen is not good for contacts.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize