I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
